Sunday, October 10, 2010

being good may not be so good.

I was being good. I was gonna wait till my follow up CATscan to have an alcoholic beverage...... but the week was too much, yesterday and today was too much and the prospect of what could happen tomorrow..... too much. I've been so upset, edgy, frustrated and on the verge of tears so often lately. Well I cried today and decided that was enough. waiting till the 27th? with all this stress and not being able to workout? to some levels some of my problems will not be getting better soon, this year, or ever. So i had a porter and the effect has been great. I can take a deep breath, carry on, and be calm.

I could have made it the whole time - but would anyone still have been my friend? I've been so wound up and up tight that I was either down right short or alienating to everyone. now i'll be fine.

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