overwhelmed.

i'm willing to admit to myself that while the outlook is fairly bright I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed. I think the more amusing thing is that I have been for some time subconsciously but I've refused to acknowledge the signs.

weight gain, lack of sleep, rationalisation, and a feeling of static in my veins. Its like a low grade adrenaline that makes my arms and back tense just a hint, continuously; and a lack of focus. Its the nagging feeling I should be doing something, even when I am doing something.

I would describe it as a animalistic alertness that you will see in creatures before a storm. The way the dog's ears are pricked, the pacing.... its a feeling of impending entrapment. You know what's coming, you know what to do to help prepare but it's a recognition that you still really don't know just whats going to happen. The time keeps getting closer and you panic with what to do with whats left of it because you know that so often you end up squandering it.

I'll do what I can to prepare for the forthcoming rains even before I hear the thunder. The next seven months will be huge and I only hope I can hold up the weight of them and reach all my goals.